I have a complicated relationship with group chats.
On one hand—they’re useful.
Information. Updates. Plans.
On the other hand…
they’re a full-time job I didn’t apply for.
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It Starts Innocently
You get added.
There’s a purpose.
School updates. Friends. Logistics.
And for a while, it works.
People are responsive. Relevant. Reasonable.
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And Then It Evolves
Slowly.
Quietly.
Into something else.
Notifications increase.
Messages multiply.
Topics… expand.
Suddenly, you’re 67 messages behind and the conversation has gone from logistics to:
• dinner plans
• unrelated opinions
• someone’s forwarded video
• and a debate you don’t remember signing up for
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The Pressure to Keep Up
Here’s the strange part.
No one is forcing you to read everything.
And yet… you feel like you should.
So you scroll.
Catch up.
Mentally process things that don’t concern you.
And by the time you’re done, you’re slightly exhausted.
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Also, Why Does Everything Need a Response?
Not every message needs a reaction.
Not every plan needs immediate confirmation.
Not every update needs acknowledgment.
And yet, we respond.
React. Reply. Engage.
Because silence feels like… absence.
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The Guilt of Muting
Muting a group chat feels like rebellion.
Like you’re opting out of something important.
Even when it’s clearly not important.
So instead, we tolerate it.
Manage it.
Stay half-involved.
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The Shift I’m Trying
Reading what’s relevant.
Ignoring what’s not.
Responding when needed.
Not performing participation.
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Real Moment of the Week
Opening a group chat.
Seeing 89 unread messages.
And deciding… I don’t need to know all of this.
Closing it.
Nothing urgent happened.
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Where I’m Landing With This
Just because something is active…
doesn’t mean it’s important.
And just because it’s there…
doesn’t mean I need to engage with all of it.
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Still becoming. And occasionally on mute.